![]() No, we're all cool with the kid thinking his mom's cheating? He clearly hasn't clued in that it's his mom's husband – and presumably his dad – who's dressed up as Santa. The kid in this song (written by Tommie Connor in 1952) is going to spend most of the new year in therapy after seeing his mom kissing Santa Claus and tickling him “underneath his beard so snowy white.” So, no one over 92 deserves to be wished a Merry Christmas?! Take that, everyone born before 1929. "I'm offering this simple phrase / To kids from one to ninety-two," it goes. Now, we know it’s not acceptable for folks (outside of Edmonton) to “dress up like Eskimos” – or even call them Eskimos. “A child, a child / shivers in the cold / Let us bring him silver and gold.” How about a blanket, instead?Įvidently, when Bob Wells and Mel Tormé came up with this song in the mid-‘40s, cultural appropriation was a thing. It also takes a pretty nasty position on protecting children from hypothermia. “Do you see what I see? … Do you hear what I hear?,” the song taunts, repeatedly. The words to this Christmas song, written in 1962 by the aptly-named Noël Regney, unabashedly alienate everyone who is deaf, hard-of-hearing, or visually impaired. “We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman / Until the other kids knock him down.” Wow. Brown’s business if we’re married, telling him to make his way, without legs, from the meadow to the town for a job is kind of a d**k move. “He’ll say, ‘Are you married?’ / We’ll say, ‘No man’ / But you can do the job when you're in town.” "In the meadow we can build a snowman / Then pretend that he is Parson Brown.” No one would do that unless there were ‘shrooms involved. Smith has become a holiday classic – even though it promotes the use of hallucinogens and is generally mean-spirited. Really? Prancer’s not getting teased? And, poor Rudolph is being called names and excluded from reindeer games solely because his nose glows? We’re supposed to believe Blitzen’s never been lit?Īt the end of the song about body-shaming and workplace harassment, Santa promotes Rudolph to the position of lead reindeer based only on a physical trait – and, instead of filing a complaint with HR or seething with resentment and jealousy, these bullies suddenly love Rudolph and shout out with glee? We’re not buying it.ĭespite not making any mention of Christmas, this 1934 ditty by Felix Bernard and Richard B. Then, we’re led to believe that the only reindeer with an actual man’s name is the one getting shamed. ![]() You literally wrote this song about him, Johnny Marks. “Do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?” Uhm, yeah, his name’s Rudolph. Not the least of the problems with this 1949 song is how it immediately insults the listener. With frozen tongue in cheek, here are 10 classics that could easily be cancelled: If for no other reason than to trigger Facebook trolls, let’s have a few too many cups of egg nog and needlessly analyze the lyrics of other seasonal songs. With lines like "Say, what's in this drink?," some people believe it deserves a hashtag of some kind. This non-Christmas song that tends to get played a lot at Christmas because, well, it’s cold outside, hasn’t aged well since Frank Loesser wrote it in 1944. "Twelve Days of Christmas" is frequently derided as the "99 Bottles of Beer" of the holiday season and Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" has been known to start revolutions – but no song divides people quite like “Baby, It’s Cold Outside." ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |